Breathing “through” doesn’t work for me
Often breathing is taught as a practice that can help us push “through” whatever difficulties we are experiencing. We are encouraged to breathe through the pain. Breathe through the grief. Breathe through the stress.
That hasn’t worked for me.
It didn't work two weeks ago when I was in court for the 4th time. It didn't work when I pushed through the courthouse doors to shake in my 90 degree car, AC blasting, tears gushing from my tired eyes. It didn’t work during my thirty-eight hour labor with Solomon. It didn’t work in any of the painful breakups I’ve experienced. It didn’t work when I read the news about my latest book not being as successful as my first.
I am no longer interested in pushing aside what I am experiencing. I am no longer willing to breathe through what hurts with the goal of getting to the other side, over there, someplace else, that perceived place that is better than here.
I’ve spent years pushing through, overriding my body…