Ashley, thank you for the flashback to the best part of being a kid in the 80s - making mix tapes and large crushes on Corey Feldman and River Phoenix. I love the "Field Notes", and sharing. During COVID, I bought a 15 month old Azteca, knowing nothing about horse training. He turned six in May, and we ride mountains together. He's changed my entire life, I am sure Maeve will change yours, and teach you so much. Keep sharing. Sincerely, a fellow recovering social media performative culture woman.
You are welcome Macala! It really was one of my favorite parts of being a kid in the 80's too :) Oh I love reading about your Azteca and imagining your six year relationship. I wish you could see the HUGE smile on my face right now. Thank you for sharing about him. Horses are such incredible teachers. Deep bow to you from the Sierras <3
Ashley, I finally caught a moment to listen to your first field notes recording. I loved it! I know that this wasn't the intended purpose but I thought this project would be so special for the kids to listen to one day to hear what was going on for you personally at different moments in their lives. On another note, I am so glad I listened to my intuition about Maeve, she is so special and is going to live up to her potential in your care! Let's get that patience pole set up : )
Thanks for listening babe! I agree about having the kids listen in the future, I think Sol will be especially interested :) You really have such strong intuition in general and especially about animals, it is uncanny! Excited to get the pole up and continue working with her.
Thank you so much for this sharing! Loved hearing your voice 🤍
"Breaking away from the performance" - yes, this has been a huge theme for me these past months as well. It first came as the deep realisation that I don't want to perform (literally, like on a stage, speaking, teaching, sharing..) unless it feels 100% aligned.
Then it expanded into releasing all performance of any "roles" and masks, also the perfection, over-giving and taking on responsibilities that are not (fully) mine to carry. All the trying to show that I can always keep it together or pull it together, no matter what.
Letting all of that go is terrifying - especially for the double-Virgo, queen of perfection - and so freeing at the same time.
Loved the question about how would it feel to be the beginner? And the first thing that came up was: playfulness. It would feel like play again, not serious, not filled with fear of failure. And the playfulness actually opens up a completeley new field of possibilities as it expands rather than contracts.
Oh, this moved me so much! Thank you for sharing so vulnerably here. That shift from literal performance to releasing ALL the masks and roles... yes, I feel this in my bones. "The queen of perfection" learning to let things fall apart - what courage that takes.
I love that playfulness came up for you around being a beginner. That expansion rather than contraction - that's exactly it. When we stop gripping so tightly to getting it "right," suddenly there's all this space for joy and discovery again. Your double-Virgo is safe to play here 💛
Sending love right back to Estonia, and deep gratitude for walking this path alongside me. It helps knowing we're all out here, gently setting down what was never ours to carry. Thinking of you heaps!
Ashley! I'm so glad you commented on my Note about voice notes yesterday. This was such a lovely listen. You voice so many things I also believe about the connection and intimacy of this format. I love it. I also shared a voice note on my Substack today, and hope to do more soon :)
Hi Charlie! Thank you so much for listening and for sharing your own voice note today, I love how we're creating this little ecosystem of spoken stories! There really is something magical about voice that written words can't quite capture, and I'm thrilled you're feeling it too. Can't wait to listen to yours 🌿
I did the same thing with my boom box. I would record a song from the radio and use my dual cassette deck to record multiple versions of that song to one side so that I could listen to it multiple times without having to rewind! Also, one of the ways I tormented my sister was by hiding her issues of Seventeen Magazine, which drove her insane, probably due to the withdrawals of not being able to lie in her room and gaze upon the beauty of the likes of the “Coreys” and pre-Left Behind Kirk Cameron.
You mentioned parts, and I’m almost two years into my IFS work and am realizing how much my managers have run the show for sooo long, particularly the “PR part” that wants to manage my “image.” As such, I end up struggling with stuff like working on music or writing.
Also, I’ve recently gotten back on Instagram after many years of not being on it. It’s been great to reconnect with people, and get introduced to relevant and helpful content, but it’s still mostly void of anything that feels like a real, tangible experience like what you shared with your field notes, and I’m still so very troubled by the omniscience of the algorithm and AI etc.
I’ll be anxiously awaiting what you choose to share next!
Evan! The dual cassette deck strategy is pure genius - creating your own personal greatest hits compilation without the rewind hassle. I'm laughing imagining teenage you methodically curating the perfect listening experience while simultaneously plotting your sister's Seventeen Magazine psychological warfare. The Coreys and Kirk Cameron withdrawal must have been real!
I'm so glad the parts thing resonated with you. Two years into IFS work - that's huge! And oh, that PR manager part... I feel that so deeply. Mine is constantly whispering "but what will people think?" whenever I sit down to create anything. It's wild how these protective parts can actually become the biggest obstacles to the very things that feed our souls. The irony is not lost on me that I'm writing about authenticity while my own manager parts are probably editing this response as I type it.
Your Instagram observation really hits home too. There's something both wonderful and unsettling about reconnecting with people while simultaneously feeling like we're all performing in this strange algorithmic theater. I keep oscillating between gratitude for the connections and this creeping unease about being so thoroughly known by systems that don't actually know us at all.
Thank you for sharing so openly - it means the world to have friends who get both the nostalgic joy of boom box engineering AND the complex inner work of untangling all these parts of ourselves. More field notes coming soon, I promise!
I am so interested in the sense that your voice can be more 'true' when you speak than when you write.
As someone who specializes in brand voice, I think that level of authenticity is always what we are reaching for with our written content, but why is it easier (or harder) when we talk?
I say this not to question what you put forward here, but to think about it and welcome ideas!
What a thoughtful observation! I think there's something about the spontaneity of speech that can bypass our usual filters and self-editing - when we talk, we're more in the flow of the moment with less time to second-guess or polish away the rough edges that actually make us sound human. With writing, we have all this time to revise and perfect, but sometimes that process can smooth away the very quirks and imperfections that make a voice feel authentic.
I'm curious about your experience - do you find certain techniques help capture that conversational authenticity in writing?
I work with businesses or personal brands, but I also edit fiction and memoir, and I find the balance between a writing voice and a curated brand voice really interesting.
For those of us who have a personal brand (and I think even as writers trying to make our name known, we have that to an extent), there's a desire to be authentic, but also a fear of vulnerability and losing boundaries.
A lot of what I do is help people's professional writing sound more conversational and more like their actual voice and infuse their personality, values, and point of view into the writing - but they usually do need a level of self-editing or polish before they put that writing into the world.
BUT so many people start from what they think their professional or writing voice should be, so they start stiff and then maybe try to add some authenticity.
I believe we should start with the rough, unfiltered true voice and then add the layer of polish that feels appropriate for the piece. And I think these Field Notes are a great example of when you can choose not to add any polish or filter on at all.
What a beautiful insight about starting with authenticity and then layering on the appropriate polish rather than the other way around - it really does make such a difference in helping people find that sweet spot between genuine and professional. Your approach of helping writers tap into their unfiltered voice first sounds like it creates so much more trust and connection with their audiences.
Thank you for this! I quit Instagram around the same time as you and I have been exploring what it means to share without performing. Your original essay about leaving social media felt like a permission slip, and this feels much the same. I’ve also been daydreaming about the boombox bedroom days. Here’s to more authenticity, connection, and 13 minute voice notes! 🥂
Thank you for tuning in Chaia! Yes, to share without preforming, that is the practice we are in right now. And yes to the boombox bedroom days, some of my favorite fro childhood. Cheers to all and the epic voice notes :)
Ashley, thank you for the flashback to the best part of being a kid in the 80s - making mix tapes and large crushes on Corey Feldman and River Phoenix. I love the "Field Notes", and sharing. During COVID, I bought a 15 month old Azteca, knowing nothing about horse training. He turned six in May, and we ride mountains together. He's changed my entire life, I am sure Maeve will change yours, and teach you so much. Keep sharing. Sincerely, a fellow recovering social media performative culture woman.
You are welcome Macala! It really was one of my favorite parts of being a kid in the 80's too :) Oh I love reading about your Azteca and imagining your six year relationship. I wish you could see the HUGE smile on my face right now. Thank you for sharing about him. Horses are such incredible teachers. Deep bow to you from the Sierras <3
Ashley, I finally caught a moment to listen to your first field notes recording. I loved it! I know that this wasn't the intended purpose but I thought this project would be so special for the kids to listen to one day to hear what was going on for you personally at different moments in their lives. On another note, I am so glad I listened to my intuition about Maeve, she is so special and is going to live up to her potential in your care! Let's get that patience pole set up : )
Thanks for listening babe! I agree about having the kids listen in the future, I think Sol will be especially interested :) You really have such strong intuition in general and especially about animals, it is uncanny! Excited to get the pole up and continue working with her.
LOVE this! I’ve been wanting to go a little voicenote project on here and this just expanded me. 🫶🏻🫶🏻
OOOH! I am so excited for you to do one <3
Thank you so much for this sharing! Loved hearing your voice 🤍
"Breaking away from the performance" - yes, this has been a huge theme for me these past months as well. It first came as the deep realisation that I don't want to perform (literally, like on a stage, speaking, teaching, sharing..) unless it feels 100% aligned.
Then it expanded into releasing all performance of any "roles" and masks, also the perfection, over-giving and taking on responsibilities that are not (fully) mine to carry. All the trying to show that I can always keep it together or pull it together, no matter what.
Letting all of that go is terrifying - especially for the double-Virgo, queen of perfection - and so freeing at the same time.
Loved the question about how would it feel to be the beginner? And the first thing that came up was: playfulness. It would feel like play again, not serious, not filled with fear of failure. And the playfulness actually opens up a completeley new field of possibilities as it expands rather than contracts.
Sending much love from Estonia 🌞
Oh, this moved me so much! Thank you for sharing so vulnerably here. That shift from literal performance to releasing ALL the masks and roles... yes, I feel this in my bones. "The queen of perfection" learning to let things fall apart - what courage that takes.
I love that playfulness came up for you around being a beginner. That expansion rather than contraction - that's exactly it. When we stop gripping so tightly to getting it "right," suddenly there's all this space for joy and discovery again. Your double-Virgo is safe to play here 💛
Sending love right back to Estonia, and deep gratitude for walking this path alongside me. It helps knowing we're all out here, gently setting down what was never ours to carry. Thinking of you heaps!
❤️❤️❤️
Ashley! I'm so glad you commented on my Note about voice notes yesterday. This was such a lovely listen. You voice so many things I also believe about the connection and intimacy of this format. I love it. I also shared a voice note on my Substack today, and hope to do more soon :)
Hi Charlie! Thank you so much for listening and for sharing your own voice note today, I love how we're creating this little ecosystem of spoken stories! There really is something magical about voice that written words can't quite capture, and I'm thrilled you're feeling it too. Can't wait to listen to yours 🌿
Ashley!! This was so great.
I did the same thing with my boom box. I would record a song from the radio and use my dual cassette deck to record multiple versions of that song to one side so that I could listen to it multiple times without having to rewind! Also, one of the ways I tormented my sister was by hiding her issues of Seventeen Magazine, which drove her insane, probably due to the withdrawals of not being able to lie in her room and gaze upon the beauty of the likes of the “Coreys” and pre-Left Behind Kirk Cameron.
You mentioned parts, and I’m almost two years into my IFS work and am realizing how much my managers have run the show for sooo long, particularly the “PR part” that wants to manage my “image.” As such, I end up struggling with stuff like working on music or writing.
Also, I’ve recently gotten back on Instagram after many years of not being on it. It’s been great to reconnect with people, and get introduced to relevant and helpful content, but it’s still mostly void of anything that feels like a real, tangible experience like what you shared with your field notes, and I’m still so very troubled by the omniscience of the algorithm and AI etc.
I’ll be anxiously awaiting what you choose to share next!
Evan! The dual cassette deck strategy is pure genius - creating your own personal greatest hits compilation without the rewind hassle. I'm laughing imagining teenage you methodically curating the perfect listening experience while simultaneously plotting your sister's Seventeen Magazine psychological warfare. The Coreys and Kirk Cameron withdrawal must have been real!
I'm so glad the parts thing resonated with you. Two years into IFS work - that's huge! And oh, that PR manager part... I feel that so deeply. Mine is constantly whispering "but what will people think?" whenever I sit down to create anything. It's wild how these protective parts can actually become the biggest obstacles to the very things that feed our souls. The irony is not lost on me that I'm writing about authenticity while my own manager parts are probably editing this response as I type it.
Your Instagram observation really hits home too. There's something both wonderful and unsettling about reconnecting with people while simultaneously feeling like we're all performing in this strange algorithmic theater. I keep oscillating between gratitude for the connections and this creeping unease about being so thoroughly known by systems that don't actually know us at all.
Thank you for sharing so openly - it means the world to have friends who get both the nostalgic joy of boom box engineering AND the complex inner work of untangling all these parts of ourselves. More field notes coming soon, I promise!
I am so interested in the sense that your voice can be more 'true' when you speak than when you write.
As someone who specializes in brand voice, I think that level of authenticity is always what we are reaching for with our written content, but why is it easier (or harder) when we talk?
I say this not to question what you put forward here, but to think about it and welcome ideas!
What a thoughtful observation! I think there's something about the spontaneity of speech that can bypass our usual filters and self-editing - when we talk, we're more in the flow of the moment with less time to second-guess or polish away the rough edges that actually make us sound human. With writing, we have all this time to revise and perfect, but sometimes that process can smooth away the very quirks and imperfections that make a voice feel authentic.
I'm curious about your experience - do you find certain techniques help capture that conversational authenticity in writing?
I work with businesses or personal brands, but I also edit fiction and memoir, and I find the balance between a writing voice and a curated brand voice really interesting.
For those of us who have a personal brand (and I think even as writers trying to make our name known, we have that to an extent), there's a desire to be authentic, but also a fear of vulnerability and losing boundaries.
A lot of what I do is help people's professional writing sound more conversational and more like their actual voice and infuse their personality, values, and point of view into the writing - but they usually do need a level of self-editing or polish before they put that writing into the world.
BUT so many people start from what they think their professional or writing voice should be, so they start stiff and then maybe try to add some authenticity.
I believe we should start with the rough, unfiltered true voice and then add the layer of polish that feels appropriate for the piece. And I think these Field Notes are a great example of when you can choose not to add any polish or filter on at all.
What a beautiful insight about starting with authenticity and then layering on the appropriate polish rather than the other way around - it really does make such a difference in helping people find that sweet spot between genuine and professional. Your approach of helping writers tap into their unfiltered voice first sounds like it creates so much more trust and connection with their audiences.
Thank you for this! I quit Instagram around the same time as you and I have been exploring what it means to share without performing. Your original essay about leaving social media felt like a permission slip, and this feels much the same. I’ve also been daydreaming about the boombox bedroom days. Here’s to more authenticity, connection, and 13 minute voice notes! 🥂
Thank you for tuning in Chaia! Yes, to share without preforming, that is the practice we are in right now. And yes to the boombox bedroom days, some of my favorite fro childhood. Cheers to all and the epic voice notes :)