18 Comments
Oct 28Liked by Ashley Neese

Thank you once again Ashley for telling your story. I appreciate even more your ability to have enough consciousness to see through the seductive illusion of monetizing social media content and the even more seductive sense of validation received by playing that game. Your last few posts have me simmering some commentary that perhaps will come later. For now, I will only say that sometimes, after we are able to undertake deep self inquiry as you have done we are sometimes left with deeper, niggling questions. Why did I fall for that? Why did I ignore myself for so long? Those sorts of questions: the ones that can leave us questioning our worth on deeper more uncomfortable levels. I am all for asking those questions. They are necessary and logical 'next questions' to ask. At some point I will manage an essay that will I hope read like a love letter to those of you who are spinning out, have spun out, of the insanity of monetizing almost everything in your lives. For now, let me say that none of this is your fault. It's the logical outcome of growing up in the world you have grown up in. Yours, and subsequent generations have been preyed upon by advertisers and marketers since at least the 1950's and that strategy intensified during the Reagan-Bush years in this country. And it's happened because my generation, in particular, has failed yours. We have failed to give you all better examples and alternatives of things could be different and more sane. I always thought if I simply continued to live my life the way i did that more people who told me in my younger days 'there's something different about you' or 'I always wanted to do what you do but there's no money in it' might want to follow my example. (I knew I wasn't exceptional. The only thing different about me was that I figured out well before the age of 18 that I didn't want what everyone else seemed to want. ) Talk about arrogance. My small example could never have been a match for the power and the validation of chasing what defines success in this culture. What more, if anything, could I have done back then? I don't know. But perhaps I can offer whatever support possible to you who have come/will come after me. We can build a different world but it's likely going to take more people spinning off the treadmill to make it happen.

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Cynthia, I am so touched by your share. Thank you for taking the time and offering such compassion, wisdom, and realness. I am going to continue sitting with it for the next day or two and respond. ❤️

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Looking forward to it Ashley. Respond when you're ready. I will also make an effort to put my thoughts together in a bit more depth. To clarify part of my earlier comments I was referring to this: in the early '80's , I was an undergrad taking a Forest Economics class. We had to read the Wall Street Journal daily and there was an article urging marketers and advertisers to consider that teenagers, up to that point in time, were a potentially lucrative and previously untapped consumer group. The article urged advertising executives to take note. "No good will come of this" I remember thinking. Take note they did. Not long after that, we saw the increasing stratification of 'generations' (Boomers, Gen. X etc.) by marketers and then corresponding advertisement targeted to each specific demographic. There's also a small group of us born from about mid-1959 to about 1963 or '64 who were largely ignored by market researchers, and many of us seem to have a similar sense of crying 'foul' on the whole affair. (Maybe that's an upside to exclusion, not that I am glorifying exclusivity. We didn't cry foul effectively enough.) I left the US in 2007 for a 3-6 month trip back to South America that turned into a nearly 13 year residency. When I returned in 2019, social media was well entrenched and well monetized. That people were 'branding' and monetizing themselves was a reality that made my head spin. It hit me like a zen koan. And it also horrified me. It still does, which is why it's so hard for me to put my emotions into words. The increasing number of accounts such as yours helps me sort out my own emotions about all of this, so thanks again for writing.

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Oct 28Liked by Ashley Neese

Hi Ashley,

This article is a catapult, I haven't finished reading it but I need to stop and highlight something that has began happening to me here on Substack.

I have put aside a lot of my internal work , I have delayed significantly a lot of things to read and reply on comments and press likes and it has started feeding my insecurities and lonely self.

I must recalibrate this before I end up like you in your younger years.

Thanks again.

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Thank you for sharing so openly about your experiences Yannis. I am glad that you have awareness on what is feeding your insecurities here on Substack. Because of my past experiences I have been extra cautious of using Notes and getting too caught up in what other people are writing. Building community is one thing but there is a fine line between that and getting sucked into more noise. Always appreciate your reflections!

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Oct 28Liked by Ashley Neese

I started to go left instead of right. I have come a long way to go wrong again. My wisdom found your wisdom and helped me see the light again. God bless you.

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Oct 27Liked by Ashley Neese

Dear Ashley, these words are not mine, but I treasure them and pass them on to you. There are more things than money. I can't understand the desire for more, more and more. But I never have. I've never had any, sometimes it's been pretty desperate, but I've always survived, and I've never lost sight of what's real.

"There is a web that wraps around the world - a tangled place, so easy to become lost. But look to the light, and I will lead you to Beauty by perfect paths." Love Kate

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Beautiful as ever Kate. Thank you for sharing❤️

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Oct 27Liked by Ashley Neese

Ah this post hits hard. Thank you for this insight 💫

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You are so welcome Amanda. Thank you for reading and being here❤️

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Oct 27Liked by Ashley Neese

“The social media content creator programming runs deep.” Oof, yes. I built a business on IG and I made the decision to close my account anyway back in 2020. But the way my brain STILL thinks in instagram captions.. yikes.

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Thank you for sharing that your brain still makes IG captions Taylor! I keep wondering when that will shift. Good to know it will probably take years ;) Also love that you got off in 2020.💫

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Oct 27Liked by Ashley Neese

It’s definitely wayyy better than it was, that’s for sure. But it absolutely still creeps in sometimes and it really astonishes me how much of my whole being that app bled into and took over. And thanks for sharing that podcast, I am on the hunt for resources for online entrepreneurship sans social - will check it out!

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I totally feel you and am excited for you to check out Off The Grid. It is super helpful for working online, away from social media and is super inspiring too!

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I quit all social media eighteen months ago and have never looked back. I didn’t have a large following. I had a small community. I don’t know what it is to monetize content or be an influencer. Even without those trappings being off social has made meme far more present to my life and grounded in my body. I channel my time doing work that will live on long after I’m gone instead of chasing one more instructional story or IG Live I dare not miss! Your post is so honest and I thank you for helping us see the other side of what the seductive influencer actually looks and feels like.

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Such a beautiful reflection Uma. I love the way you articulate being away from the trappings of social media and how you are more present in your life now. I completely relate to that. ‘Chasing one more instructional story’ made me laugh! It is really so absurd and performative. And I love what you said about trusting your work will continue. 🫶🏼

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I kinda l like the image of donkeys walking off into the sunset. I think I am walking with the donkeys and it suits me just fine, thank you very much. Enjoying the walk and the company of donkeys. I miss our two, Daisy and Dusty, and have fond memories of their wandering around our fenced in 6 acres and putting them back in their corral after finding them in one of our gardens, munching on some good stuff.

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I love reading about your donkeys Gary. Brings such a smile to my face and heart. They are such incredible beings and I love knowing you have such fond memories of them❤️

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