Your willingness to love and care for children who might be taken away from you is an act of pure goodness. Your post will lead others, including me, to greater kindness and goodness.
Wow! Such an emotional piece. It takes such courage to let yourself feel such deep grief and pain, and still keep open and loving. I honour you and Nic making the world a better place by being in it loving like you do. Lots of love to you both, xxxx
It seems trivial to ‘like’ this post when actually what I want to is co w right on over and give you the biggest squishiest hug because what you are doing as foster parent is so thing truly incredible.
I worked with guardianship kids (children under protection of the minister) for a number of years. The sheer number of children in care in Australia is staggering & fostering or kinship care are the only options which means yes the children can be removed out of a foster home without notice at any time.
I have witnessed the pain & the confusion as a child is placed back in a familial home where everybody is literally taking air bets on how long it will last.
The sad reality of the home setting breaking down is just R.A.W.
We need our government bodies to do more around working with families & set them up for success - not place kids back in families where their abuse/neglect/trauma is likely to happen again.
I honour you & Nic & Sol & am cheering you on - thank you for being a beautiful foster home for others 🧡
Thank you for being here and sharing some of your experiences Tiffany. The line about taking bets to see how long a reunification will last, that hurts. It happens in our system too. I completely agree that we need our agencies and governments to do more.
What I have been digging into research wise is that one of the foundational issues in the US is that children are still considered property. It is hard to imagine anything changing much without a complete overhaul down to the roots - a system that is grounded in child wellbeing.
Thank you for seeing Nic and I and honoring this calling. ❤️
Ah, the grief of mothering in foster care - especially on days like today - is so real. Thanks for showing up authentically and honestly. There are many of us who feel this heartache along with you. I hope you know today how seen, important, and valuable your mothering to these children is, for however long they experience it.
Breeann! Thank you for being here. I know you really get it on every level. Thank you for seeing me and for honoring this work. I am touched and grateful.
Oh Ashley. I can feel your pain and grief, reluctance and release through my screen. I could not do what you do. You are a very special human to take this kind of love and care for these babies that truly need it. Sending you a virtual hug this Mother’s Day.
Ashley, wow. This powerful essay moves hearts. That being said, I don't think anyone could understand what you, and your family, are going through without having done something similar. The courage and resilience you demonstrate in the face of everything that is out of your control is remarkable. Teaching your family to love fully, even when you don't fully feel safe holding that love, is the most remarkable lesson. It is one we could all use a big dose of and reading your post helps us to grapple with love in our own small way. Thank you. Carry on brave soldier doing the most important work there is.
Last night Nic was reading through a few of the comments and mentioned how meaningful your share was to him. He said, wow, she really gets the complexity of this. All this to say that both of seen by you. Thank you for this truly thoughtful and heartfelt reply Donna. It means a great deal to our family. 💕
Nic was right. Your piece is a gift to all of us. Because to “love and lose” is the human lot, an experience so intrinsic to our pervasive commonalities that it alone should help us know down to our very bones that ~ we are family.
Hi Cynthia. Thank you for taking the time to read this piece and to share here. Your words, to “love and lose” really land for me and I love that you bring it around to all of us being family. Deep gratitude for you.
Ashley,
Your willingness to love and care for children who might be taken away from you is an act of pure goodness. Your post will lead others, including me, to greater kindness and goodness.
Thank you David. I am holding your words close.
This moved me so deeply I cannot bring words to it ❤️
Sarina, thank you. Your reflection means so much to me. I often struggle to articulate the impact this work is having on me. I appreciate you.
Wow! Such an emotional piece. It takes such courage to let yourself feel such deep grief and pain, and still keep open and loving. I honour you and Nic making the world a better place by being in it loving like you do. Lots of love to you both, xxxx
Thank you Thea, I really appreciate you being here. Thank you for seeing Nic and I and the way we are showing up. x
Couldn't love Nic and Sol more for all of this. This is so well written that I enjoyed reading it despite the pain.
Been thinking of you. Thank you for reading this Suzanne, means so much❤️
It seems trivial to ‘like’ this post when actually what I want to is co w right on over and give you the biggest squishiest hug because what you are doing as foster parent is so thing truly incredible.
I worked with guardianship kids (children under protection of the minister) for a number of years. The sheer number of children in care in Australia is staggering & fostering or kinship care are the only options which means yes the children can be removed out of a foster home without notice at any time.
I have witnessed the pain & the confusion as a child is placed back in a familial home where everybody is literally taking air bets on how long it will last.
The sad reality of the home setting breaking down is just R.A.W.
We need our government bodies to do more around working with families & set them up for success - not place kids back in families where their abuse/neglect/trauma is likely to happen again.
I honour you & Nic & Sol & am cheering you on - thank you for being a beautiful foster home for others 🧡
Thank you for being here and sharing some of your experiences Tiffany. The line about taking bets to see how long a reunification will last, that hurts. It happens in our system too. I completely agree that we need our agencies and governments to do more.
What I have been digging into research wise is that one of the foundational issues in the US is that children are still considered property. It is hard to imagine anything changing much without a complete overhaul down to the roots - a system that is grounded in child wellbeing.
Thank you for seeing Nic and I and honoring this calling. ❤️
Children as property is a big part of the problem. Keep doing the things, it matters 🧡
"You need to write about what you are avoiding, he continued, staring at the fridge."
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That's one hell of a partner you've got there, and relationship. Well done.
I am grateful you saw Nic in this essay. He is really is incredible.
What a beautiful, heartwarming, heartwrenching post.
Thank you for your mothering work 🙏 ♥️
Hi Veronika. Thank you. This means so much, especially in the light of the work that you do. I know you get the integration that comes with this too.
Sending so much love. Your work is heaven sent and so meaningful. 🦋✨
Thank you Claire. I am so grateful you took the time to read this piece. <3
Ah, the grief of mothering in foster care - especially on days like today - is so real. Thanks for showing up authentically and honestly. There are many of us who feel this heartache along with you. I hope you know today how seen, important, and valuable your mothering to these children is, for however long they experience it.
Breeann! Thank you for being here. I know you really get it on every level. Thank you for seeing me and for honoring this work. I am touched and grateful.
That’s so beautiful, thanks for sharing. It must be difficult to keep fostering & opening yourself up after you’ve had your heart broken like that ❤️
Thank you Han. <3
Oh Ashley. I can feel your pain and grief, reluctance and release through my screen. I could not do what you do. You are a very special human to take this kind of love and care for these babies that truly need it. Sending you a virtual hug this Mother’s Day.
Thank you so much Kim. Receiving your virtual hug and care❤️
Ashley, wow. This powerful essay moves hearts. That being said, I don't think anyone could understand what you, and your family, are going through without having done something similar. The courage and resilience you demonstrate in the face of everything that is out of your control is remarkable. Teaching your family to love fully, even when you don't fully feel safe holding that love, is the most remarkable lesson. It is one we could all use a big dose of and reading your post helps us to grapple with love in our own small way. Thank you. Carry on brave soldier doing the most important work there is.
Last night Nic was reading through a few of the comments and mentioned how meaningful your share was to him. He said, wow, she really gets the complexity of this. All this to say that both of seen by you. Thank you for this truly thoughtful and heartfelt reply Donna. It means a great deal to our family. 💕
So beautiful, so tender. Thanks for sharing this Ashley ❤️
Thank you Dr. Vicki❤️
Nic was right. Your piece is a gift to all of us. Because to “love and lose” is the human lot, an experience so intrinsic to our pervasive commonalities that it alone should help us know down to our very bones that ~ we are family.
Hi Cynthia. Thank you for taking the time to read this piece and to share here. Your words, to “love and lose” really land for me and I love that you bring it around to all of us being family. Deep gratitude for you.
Oh my Ashley, my heart isn't sure what to do with this, but my soul is saying love, send so much love to you all. So I am. ❤
Thank you for sending love Louise, it means a great deal to me and our family. Grateful for your presence and generosity.
Such a beautiful & brave share- thank you.
Thank you Dionne.