Your response is profound. I restacked the bit about shaking it off as that is such a powerful way to move emotions through and process them into deeper expressions.
“It takes one to know one”.
You highlight this spiritual truth so well. You *see* your hater because you were her once and have evolved. She *projects* onto you because she is seeing herself in the mirror.
Thank you Teri. Your line, it takes one to know one, is spot on. Thank you for so clearly articulating the layers in this piece and experience. Truly grateful for your presence here❤️
Having received some unhinged shit from a reader recently, I can relate to both the initial shock and visceral reaction, and the subsequent processing...
I admire the way you've handled the situation.
Yes! Trust your own truth, Ashley. Trust your courage, generosity, openheartedness, and high sensitivity. What you are doing is absolutely incredible.
We are so fortunate to be part of this supportive community of writers. It cannot protect us from fellow humans who feel triggered by things they read into our words. But, as you say, such unexpected attacks are the best litmus test ~ an inevitable 'occupational hazard' for those of us in the ring ~ a natural accompaniment of our unfolding.
Thank you Veronika. I have been sitting with your share since yesterday and am grateful to have your voice in this conversation. I completely agree that we are so fortunate to be part of this community of writers - something I have longed for. I loved the ending of your share - a natural accompaniment to our unfolding. This is so rich and nuanced. May we continue to show up in service to our practices and each other. ❤️
I think it takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to write about the things that bring us to our knees, that make us question ourselves, this world, this life, and the hardships. I am personally kind of done with false positivity and appreciate the realness of someone sharing their experience. This has been one of the hardest years for me and in a way it’s nice to know that I am not alone. I don’t want someone to wallow with-just to know that there are folks out there who are very much trying to figure things out and may we all learn from one another. The nervous system cues and somatic awareness alone is a huge help that you offer. So thank you for sharing someone’s’ unkindness towards you and how it made you feel. I can feel the sharpness when I read the excerpt. And it makes me appreciate your vulnerability all the more.
I am also done with false positivity Nancy. I am so moved by you sharing that this has been one of your hardest years and that you want to know there are others trying to figure things out and learn from each other. This really lands with me too. Yes, the sharpness, it was visceral for me. Thank you for continuing to bring such care and honesty to these conversations. It means so much to me. ❤️
You are the last person in the world who would bring me to my wits end! I love you Ash and Im so proud of you. So grateful to be by your side navigating this wild and wonderful life adventure.
This was a highly mature and sophisticated response—handing back the responsibility to the person who wrote that email. Of course I am guilty of judging, as we all are, but it still blows my mind how someone could go out of there way to write and send such a disturbing email. I mean... major red flags. Thanks for sharing your response and for offering up a pathway for others to navigate hate.
Major red flags for sure Natasha! Thank you for being part of this conversation. I love what you wrote about handing back responsibility- this is such a key point. It took me years to learn that was even an option. Grateful for your share
Thanks you for moving through this and sharing it with us Ashley🌹 I’ve had people project onto me too and it can be a quite confusing experience. I’m glad you had the clarity to detach and move on with even more self love. Not sure if you’ve heard the Bruno Mars song ‘Just the Way You Are’ but the rap in the beginning immediately came to mind so I’m gonna share the lyrics w you😂
“First rule, never let 'em change you
Rule two, do you to the fullest (To the fullest)
And never be ashamed to
You're just good at what they can't do
And they hate that, they wanna paint you
In they color, put you on another
But what they don't accept (Uh), and what they don't see (Yeah)”
I am going to save this letter for the times when I receive a message like this, a projection, someone else’s wound flung at me to deal with. Your response is incredible. And so true — it’s so clear even from that excerpt that that woman is hurting.
I also wonder how we reached a place where everyone feels entitled to what they want from someone else, rather than what that person is offering — as though we can and deserve to control how someone else moves through their life?? It’s baffling, and en masse, kind of disturbing.
Thank you as always for writing such vulnerable, thoughtful letters - I find them so restorative and so helpful, and your writing is a balm. Xx
Thank you Natalie. I love that you are going to save this letter - this made my day as one of my intentions was that this piece be of service. I wish I had read something like this in the past in those moments when I needed it. Yes, I feel that too, that this woman is deeply hurting. Oof! I wonder the same things, about this level of entitlement and desire for control over people we don’t even know. It is so intense and as you wrote, disturbing.
There is an excellent book, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed by a British journalist, I am forgetting his name right now. The book came out almost a decade ago and still feels very relevant. He suggests many of the underlying reasons for this type of behavior. I know my email was private but I’ve had plenty of trollers over the years too.
Thank you for much for being here Natalie. Truly grateful to connect with you.
Love these words and, as always, sharing your vulnerable feelings! Must be something in the air. So true to my latest post! “I don’t care what anybody thinks, but I do care about what I do and how it affects other people.” - Gabor Maté
Thank you Kaitlin! This is such a great quote. I am a huge Gabor Maté fan. Thank you for dropping it in to the conversation. Looking forward to checking out your piece too❤️
It takes so, so much bravery to share your raw and vulnerable truth. As someone who dips a toe in occasionally but doesn’t yet have the courage to be so open, I am grateful to you for holding the space for me.
The sharpness of the letter was startling. And your willingness to share it and its impact are proof of how powerfully you are able to live your truth. Thank you.
Thank you for this thoughtful and kind reply Kristin. I am holding it close. I am grateful and touched to learn that this feels like a space holding for you. Truly.
The sharpness was startling to me too. Thank you for honoring the courage it took to share this. I had some trepidation, but I am glad I did. Thank you💫
Oh my God, people are just so rude. If you don’t like something that someone wrote, that’s fine! But please don’t go around and hurting them with your opinion.
Ashley, I just want to tell you. That piece you wrote on Mother’s Day really moved me. It was so emotional and beautiful that it made me cry! Thank you for this piece as well. It’s gorgeous.
Well done, Ashley. Thanks for sharing. So honest, raw, thoughtful and brilliant. It shines brightly against the dark we see and hear in so many places and from a few people who do not or cannot understand. I refer. on occasions when appropriate. to a quote from one of my mentors and heroes, MLK, Jr. “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
100% with you.. love how you took care to release the physical and emotional impact and then thought deeply about it. Maybe artists need a protocol like that to keep creating fearlessly. Alok has indeed been shining the light of truth.
Thank you Madeleine! I LOVE what you suggested, an artist protocol for fearless creation. Wow. I am going to sit with that. Ah, I adore ALOK. They really are shining the light of truth for humanity. Thank you for being here. x
Ashley, I love ALOK, too! I got to see them live in Portland, was it two years back? And it was a wonderful evening.
Thank you for the beautiful reminder of their graceful, compassionate way of receiving vitriol— of understanding the pain behind it— and your own. still, I wish neither of you had to receive any and send a virtual hug your way.
OMG YOU SAW ALOK! I can imagine it was incredible based on how I feel watching them on screen or listening to them on podcasts. In person must have been magical. Yes, understanding the pain behind it and our own. They have modeled that for me with more clarity than most spiritual teachers I have learned from. Receiving your virtual hug. Thank you Holly <3
I appreciate your loyalty to breaking old cycles, and being willing to do that hard work amidst life’s vulnerabilities. The path we venture on is only our own…and if we’re busy doing that work we don’t have time for much else. 🌻🌈 In your family, career, and the dwelling place of your own body may the gardens of harmony grow, nurtured by the steadfast offerings that make up your daily life.
So well said Bethany, the path we venture on is only our own. I love your language and prayer here too, may the gardens of harmony grow. This is incredibly beautiful and resonant. Thank you for sharing here, truly grateful for your presence 💫
Keep dancing in your light ✨✨✨ when you shine brightly others want to take that light for themselves because they can’t find that light within their hearts and in their lives..
I feel that many souls seek to feel a little light and won’t do the work like you have to shine from what was once a dark place.. light and dark dance together, you can only truly shine once you understand your darkness 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Your response is profound. I restacked the bit about shaking it off as that is such a powerful way to move emotions through and process them into deeper expressions.
“It takes one to know one”.
You highlight this spiritual truth so well. You *see* your hater because you were her once and have evolved. She *projects* onto you because she is seeing herself in the mirror.
Beautifully written. Thank you.🙏
Thank you Teri. Your line, it takes one to know one, is spot on. Thank you for so clearly articulating the layers in this piece and experience. Truly grateful for your presence here❤️
Thank you for your courageous response, Ashley!
Having received some unhinged shit from a reader recently, I can relate to both the initial shock and visceral reaction, and the subsequent processing...
I admire the way you've handled the situation.
Yes! Trust your own truth, Ashley. Trust your courage, generosity, openheartedness, and high sensitivity. What you are doing is absolutely incredible.
We are so fortunate to be part of this supportive community of writers. It cannot protect us from fellow humans who feel triggered by things they read into our words. But, as you say, such unexpected attacks are the best litmus test ~ an inevitable 'occupational hazard' for those of us in the ring ~ a natural accompaniment of our unfolding.
Much love and gratitude 💗🙏
Thank you Veronika. I have been sitting with your share since yesterday and am grateful to have your voice in this conversation. I completely agree that we are so fortunate to be part of this community of writers - something I have longed for. I loved the ending of your share - a natural accompaniment to our unfolding. This is so rich and nuanced. May we continue to show up in service to our practices and each other. ❤️
absolutely! This is my reason for being on substack 💕
I think it takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to write about the things that bring us to our knees, that make us question ourselves, this world, this life, and the hardships. I am personally kind of done with false positivity and appreciate the realness of someone sharing their experience. This has been one of the hardest years for me and in a way it’s nice to know that I am not alone. I don’t want someone to wallow with-just to know that there are folks out there who are very much trying to figure things out and may we all learn from one another. The nervous system cues and somatic awareness alone is a huge help that you offer. So thank you for sharing someone’s’ unkindness towards you and how it made you feel. I can feel the sharpness when I read the excerpt. And it makes me appreciate your vulnerability all the more.
I am also done with false positivity Nancy. I am so moved by you sharing that this has been one of your hardest years and that you want to know there are others trying to figure things out and learn from each other. This really lands with me too. Yes, the sharpness, it was visceral for me. Thank you for continuing to bring such care and honesty to these conversations. It means so much to me. ❤️
You are the last person in the world who would bring me to my wits end! I love you Ash and Im so proud of you. So grateful to be by your side navigating this wild and wonderful life adventure.
ILYSM Nic! Thank you for continuing to love and support me through all the things, including hate mail 😘
This was a highly mature and sophisticated response—handing back the responsibility to the person who wrote that email. Of course I am guilty of judging, as we all are, but it still blows my mind how someone could go out of there way to write and send such a disturbing email. I mean... major red flags. Thanks for sharing your response and for offering up a pathway for others to navigate hate.
Major red flags for sure Natasha! Thank you for being part of this conversation. I love what you wrote about handing back responsibility- this is such a key point. It took me years to learn that was even an option. Grateful for your share
Thank you so very much for sharing this as an example of a way to respond and process when this happens. 🙏🏾
Thank you Malaika for seeing the deeper intention of this piece. I really appreciate you being here.
Thanks you for moving through this and sharing it with us Ashley🌹 I’ve had people project onto me too and it can be a quite confusing experience. I’m glad you had the clarity to detach and move on with even more self love. Not sure if you’ve heard the Bruno Mars song ‘Just the Way You Are’ but the rap in the beginning immediately came to mind so I’m gonna share the lyrics w you😂
“First rule, never let 'em change you
Rule two, do you to the fullest (To the fullest)
And never be ashamed to
You're just good at what they can't do
And they hate that, they wanna paint you
In they color, put you on another
But what they don't accept (Uh), and what they don't see (Yeah)”
The best thing is what you already be
It really can be confusing, thank you for naming that Tara. I am popping over to Spotify now - thank you for the Bruno Mars lyrics - brilliant 💫
I am going to save this letter for the times when I receive a message like this, a projection, someone else’s wound flung at me to deal with. Your response is incredible. And so true — it’s so clear even from that excerpt that that woman is hurting.
I also wonder how we reached a place where everyone feels entitled to what they want from someone else, rather than what that person is offering — as though we can and deserve to control how someone else moves through their life?? It’s baffling, and en masse, kind of disturbing.
Thank you as always for writing such vulnerable, thoughtful letters - I find them so restorative and so helpful, and your writing is a balm. Xx
Thank you Natalie. I love that you are going to save this letter - this made my day as one of my intentions was that this piece be of service. I wish I had read something like this in the past in those moments when I needed it. Yes, I feel that too, that this woman is deeply hurting. Oof! I wonder the same things, about this level of entitlement and desire for control over people we don’t even know. It is so intense and as you wrote, disturbing.
There is an excellent book, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed by a British journalist, I am forgetting his name right now. The book came out almost a decade ago and still feels very relevant. He suggests many of the underlying reasons for this type of behavior. I know my email was private but I’ve had plenty of trollers over the years too.
Thank you for much for being here Natalie. Truly grateful to connect with you.
Love these words and, as always, sharing your vulnerable feelings! Must be something in the air. So true to my latest post! “I don’t care what anybody thinks, but I do care about what I do and how it affects other people.” - Gabor Maté
Thank you Kaitlin! This is such a great quote. I am a huge Gabor Maté fan. Thank you for dropping it in to the conversation. Looking forward to checking out your piece too❤️
It takes so, so much bravery to share your raw and vulnerable truth. As someone who dips a toe in occasionally but doesn’t yet have the courage to be so open, I am grateful to you for holding the space for me.
The sharpness of the letter was startling. And your willingness to share it and its impact are proof of how powerfully you are able to live your truth. Thank you.
Thank you for this thoughtful and kind reply Kristin. I am holding it close. I am grateful and touched to learn that this feels like a space holding for you. Truly.
The sharpness was startling to me too. Thank you for honoring the courage it took to share this. I had some trepidation, but I am glad I did. Thank you💫
Oh my God, people are just so rude. If you don’t like something that someone wrote, that’s fine! But please don’t go around and hurting them with your opinion.
Ashley, I just want to tell you. That piece you wrote on Mother’s Day really moved me. It was so emotional and beautiful that it made me cry! Thank you for this piece as well. It’s gorgeous.
Thank you so much for letting me know how you felt about my Mother's Day piece Nayar - and this one! I am grateful you are here!
Well done, Ashley. Thanks for sharing. So honest, raw, thoughtful and brilliant. It shines brightly against the dark we see and hear in so many places and from a few people who do not or cannot understand. I refer. on occasions when appropriate. to a quote from one of my mentors and heroes, MLK, Jr. “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
Thank you Gary, I appreciate what you are bringing to this conversation and for the brilliant MLK Jr quote. Feels resonant.
100% with you.. love how you took care to release the physical and emotional impact and then thought deeply about it. Maybe artists need a protocol like that to keep creating fearlessly. Alok has indeed been shining the light of truth.
Thank you Madeleine! I LOVE what you suggested, an artist protocol for fearless creation. Wow. I am going to sit with that. Ah, I adore ALOK. They really are shining the light of truth for humanity. Thank you for being here. x
Ashley, I love ALOK, too! I got to see them live in Portland, was it two years back? And it was a wonderful evening.
Thank you for the beautiful reminder of their graceful, compassionate way of receiving vitriol— of understanding the pain behind it— and your own. still, I wish neither of you had to receive any and send a virtual hug your way.
OMG YOU SAW ALOK! I can imagine it was incredible based on how I feel watching them on screen or listening to them on podcasts. In person must have been magical. Yes, understanding the pain behind it and our own. They have modeled that for me with more clarity than most spiritual teachers I have learned from. Receiving your virtual hug. Thank you Holly <3
Same, Ashley. I am endlessly impressed by them and the way they show up in the world. And, yes, magic was in the air. ;)
I appreciate your loyalty to breaking old cycles, and being willing to do that hard work amidst life’s vulnerabilities. The path we venture on is only our own…and if we’re busy doing that work we don’t have time for much else. 🌻🌈 In your family, career, and the dwelling place of your own body may the gardens of harmony grow, nurtured by the steadfast offerings that make up your daily life.
Love 🥳
So well said Bethany, the path we venture on is only our own. I love your language and prayer here too, may the gardens of harmony grow. This is incredibly beautiful and resonant. Thank you for sharing here, truly grateful for your presence 💫
Keep dancing in your light ✨✨✨ when you shine brightly others want to take that light for themselves because they can’t find that light within their hearts and in their lives..
I feel that many souls seek to feel a little light and won’t do the work like you have to shine from what was once a dark place.. light and dark dance together, you can only truly shine once you understand your darkness 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Keep shining bright and sharing 🩷🩷🩷
This is so beautiful Nicola! Thank you for sharing about this dance between light and dark 💫