So beautifully put Ashley. Softening, opening and receiving. Some of the simplest healing medicine, and some of the most challenging. This is an ongoing work in progress for me too. Thanks for naming it.
Hi Dr. Vicki, I love the way you frame this as ‘some of the simplest healing medicine and the most challenging’. I am finding that it is nuanced too, like most of this life long work ;) Glad to know we are in this together 💫
This deeply, deeply resonated with me, particularly the part about muted love. I've often wondered whether my struggle receive (and frustration with this struggle) is itself a manifestation of What's Wrong Attention -- gosh, I can't even receive correctly! How can I open myself to receive without pushing and rushing it? Thank you for sharing this today.
I really appreciate your reflections Marika. I so get the struggle being a manifestation of the What’s Wrong Attention too. I love your inquiry at the end, weaving into mine too❤️
You’re so beautifully vulnerable with your words and sharing them with many strangers. What’s possible for you if you expanded your capacity to open to joy, love, belonging?
This essay illuminated for me an experience I had recently that I couldn’t quite understand at the time. One of my best friends planned this outrageous birthday surprise for me - and not even a milestone birthday. She flew in old friends and we spent the day lunching and the evening under the stars, in the front row at an indigo girls concert. It was perfect in every single way. And the feeling I could feel the most was overwhelm. Love, yes, but right there beside it was overwhelm AT the love. Thank you for helping me name what was happening- the difficulty I had in the receiving of all that love.
Ooh Kristin thank you for sharing your birthday experiences. It sounds like it was such a beautiful, fun, and meaningful celebration and honoring of you. I so get the overwhelm AT the love. Such an expansive insight. I struggled a great deal getting this essay out and I am trying grateful that it supported you to name what was happening💫
ooft, this one hit hard. It made me think of learning sports, and teaching them to my children. That when you are learning you put so much effort in, and the better you get, the easier it gets. I remember being so frustrated when I was learning to ski and my husband told me I was trying too hard! But I had to trust that the technique would hold me, and when it did, I could feel the flow and it was so much easier.
The trust part - that is always the hardest. I'm off to see if I can trust more in my interactions, rather than trying to push through.
I love your share Gillian. I’ve been having similar conversations with my six year old son about learning to write, that it takes so much effort in the beginning. Somehow it is much more challenging for me to give myself the same grace and patience ;) I also love what you wrote about trusting the technique would hold you and the overall theme of trust in your share. It is the hardest part for me too. Grateful for your words today❤️
I’ve felt the closed off feeling when someone gives me a compliment. The need to move past it quickly, stuff it down, or point out the ways I could be “better”. The irony for me was in the times where I’ve felt that I was also craving the very thing they were giving me which is to be seen. That has shifted for me over the years. Still not entirely comfortable but I try to pause take in what the other has said and just say thank you and I try very hard not to add anything more than that. Just gratitude. Work in progress but I have felt it shift. I’ve been working with the themes of inner abundance versus inner poverty. I want to radiate the former and so when I drift I try to come back to that as my touch stone.
I so relate to craving wanting to be seen and brushing it off at the same time. I appreciate you sharing your experiences Nancy of pausing and just saying thank you. That feels like such a good place to begin. I love reading that you have noticed a shift too and the theme of inner abundance is very interesting to me. It is always a pleasure to hear from you and learn more about you here❤️
Dear Ashley, with love and respect let me ask this - what if you were given a diagnosis that meant you were going to leave all the beauty and the dear people in your life behind within months? What would matter most then? How you felt, or just wanting to embrace it with all your heart? Kate x
A beautiful essay Ashley. I’m not sure how I came across you but I’m glad I did. It’s nice to connect with your arriving and your deep reflection. Thank you.
As someone who also struggles to receive, your words truly moved me...to tears. It's difficult not to break down when I realize how much goodness in my life I am closed off from simply by my inability to receive. I am very much so looking forward to what else you have to say on the topic as this helped me to understand myself a little bit better and maybe just maybe opened me up to the possibility of receiving.
I resonate with your share Stacia. Thank you for taking a moment to connect. The piece about how much goodness is present in your life really landed with me too. I love learning that this essay supported you to understand yourself a little better too. I am deep in this work and will be sharing the next piece about it mid November. Looking forward to continuing the conversation ❤️
Hi Ashley, I relate so much to this. Thank you for putting into such concise words what I’ve also struggled with for most of my life. It is powerful to practice receiving. I also wonder, how can we authentically give, if we don’t know how to receive. And lastly, I think it is difficult to know how to receive if our caregivers didn’t model it for us when we were growing up. Let’s work to model it for the generation we are raising. Looking forward to reading your additional thoughts and essays on this topic and others.
Thank you for joining the conversation Stephanie. You bring up some really important questions around giving that I have been sitting with too. I notice that as I open to receiving even a tiny bit more I have more to give. It's wild, it's actually generative rather than depleting. I am with you too on the difficulty of knowing how to live this way if it wasn't modeled to us by our caregivers. I feel your energy in the second to last line and am 100% with you! Looking forward to continuing these conversations with you.
Somebody once told me "I'm giving you flowers it's your choice if you put them in water" after trying to complement me and me dismissing and feeling super awkward with the complement. So I really relate. The visual of learning to put things in water has become my practice as I try to receive. Sending you love.
What a great quote Janna, thank you for sharing it in this conversation. I love your visual of putting things in water to receive - that feels sacred. Such a beautiful practice. I am going to sit with it this week. x
So beautifully put Ashley. Softening, opening and receiving. Some of the simplest healing medicine, and some of the most challenging. This is an ongoing work in progress for me too. Thanks for naming it.
Hi Dr. Vicki, I love the way you frame this as ‘some of the simplest healing medicine and the most challenging’. I am finding that it is nuanced too, like most of this life long work ;) Glad to know we are in this together 💫
This deeply, deeply resonated with me, particularly the part about muted love. I've often wondered whether my struggle receive (and frustration with this struggle) is itself a manifestation of What's Wrong Attention -- gosh, I can't even receive correctly! How can I open myself to receive without pushing and rushing it? Thank you for sharing this today.
I really appreciate your reflections Marika. I so get the struggle being a manifestation of the What’s Wrong Attention too. I love your inquiry at the end, weaving into mine too❤️
You’re so beautifully vulnerable with your words and sharing them with many strangers. What’s possible for you if you expanded your capacity to open to joy, love, belonging?
Thank you for taking the time to read and connect Uma. Your question lands with me and I will be sitting with it over these next weeks and months 💫
Thank you 🙏 I needed to read these words xx
You are so welcome Sharon. Thank you for taking the time to connect🫶🏼
This essay illuminated for me an experience I had recently that I couldn’t quite understand at the time. One of my best friends planned this outrageous birthday surprise for me - and not even a milestone birthday. She flew in old friends and we spent the day lunching and the evening under the stars, in the front row at an indigo girls concert. It was perfect in every single way. And the feeling I could feel the most was overwhelm. Love, yes, but right there beside it was overwhelm AT the love. Thank you for helping me name what was happening- the difficulty I had in the receiving of all that love.
Ooh Kristin thank you for sharing your birthday experiences. It sounds like it was such a beautiful, fun, and meaningful celebration and honoring of you. I so get the overwhelm AT the love. Such an expansive insight. I struggled a great deal getting this essay out and I am trying grateful that it supported you to name what was happening💫
ooft, this one hit hard. It made me think of learning sports, and teaching them to my children. That when you are learning you put so much effort in, and the better you get, the easier it gets. I remember being so frustrated when I was learning to ski and my husband told me I was trying too hard! But I had to trust that the technique would hold me, and when it did, I could feel the flow and it was so much easier.
The trust part - that is always the hardest. I'm off to see if I can trust more in my interactions, rather than trying to push through.
I love your share Gillian. I’ve been having similar conversations with my six year old son about learning to write, that it takes so much effort in the beginning. Somehow it is much more challenging for me to give myself the same grace and patience ;) I also love what you wrote about trusting the technique would hold you and the overall theme of trust in your share. It is the hardest part for me too. Grateful for your words today❤️
I’ve felt the closed off feeling when someone gives me a compliment. The need to move past it quickly, stuff it down, or point out the ways I could be “better”. The irony for me was in the times where I’ve felt that I was also craving the very thing they were giving me which is to be seen. That has shifted for me over the years. Still not entirely comfortable but I try to pause take in what the other has said and just say thank you and I try very hard not to add anything more than that. Just gratitude. Work in progress but I have felt it shift. I’ve been working with the themes of inner abundance versus inner poverty. I want to radiate the former and so when I drift I try to come back to that as my touch stone.
I so relate to craving wanting to be seen and brushing it off at the same time. I appreciate you sharing your experiences Nancy of pausing and just saying thank you. That feels like such a good place to begin. I love reading that you have noticed a shift too and the theme of inner abundance is very interesting to me. It is always a pleasure to hear from you and learn more about you here❤️
Dear Ashley, with love and respect let me ask this - what if you were given a diagnosis that meant you were going to leave all the beauty and the dear people in your life behind within months? What would matter most then? How you felt, or just wanting to embrace it with all your heart? Kate x
I’m not sure you caught on to the wisdom in this.
Thank you for being here Kate. I appreciate you. ❤️
Age has taught me that the two things that really matter in our lives are love and beauty. The rest, at the end of the day, just words on the wind. xx
A beautiful essay Ashley. I’m not sure how I came across you but I’m glad I did. It’s nice to connect with your arriving and your deep reflection. Thank you.
Thank you Prajna, I am glad you landed here. It is wonderful to connect with you💫
I had a wonderful older woman friend who taught me it is not more blessed to give than to receive. Her love and her example changed my life.
Beautiful Marilyn 💫
As someone who also struggles to receive, your words truly moved me...to tears. It's difficult not to break down when I realize how much goodness in my life I am closed off from simply by my inability to receive. I am very much so looking forward to what else you have to say on the topic as this helped me to understand myself a little bit better and maybe just maybe opened me up to the possibility of receiving.
I resonate with your share Stacia. Thank you for taking a moment to connect. The piece about how much goodness is present in your life really landed with me too. I love learning that this essay supported you to understand yourself a little better too. I am deep in this work and will be sharing the next piece about it mid November. Looking forward to continuing the conversation ❤️
It ressonates so much...! Thank you for your generosity and openess 🙏🏼🤍
Thank you for the kind words Anna! Grateful you are here. x
Hi Ashley, I relate so much to this. Thank you for putting into such concise words what I’ve also struggled with for most of my life. It is powerful to practice receiving. I also wonder, how can we authentically give, if we don’t know how to receive. And lastly, I think it is difficult to know how to receive if our caregivers didn’t model it for us when we were growing up. Let’s work to model it for the generation we are raising. Looking forward to reading your additional thoughts and essays on this topic and others.
Thank you for joining the conversation Stephanie. You bring up some really important questions around giving that I have been sitting with too. I notice that as I open to receiving even a tiny bit more I have more to give. It's wild, it's actually generative rather than depleting. I am with you too on the difficulty of knowing how to live this way if it wasn't modeled to us by our caregivers. I feel your energy in the second to last line and am 100% with you! Looking forward to continuing these conversations with you.
What if it could be easy?
Such a great question 💫
totally relate to this. Thank you for sharing!
You are so welcome Tess! Thank you for taking the time to read it❤️
Somebody once told me "I'm giving you flowers it's your choice if you put them in water" after trying to complement me and me dismissing and feeling super awkward with the complement. So I really relate. The visual of learning to put things in water has become my practice as I try to receive. Sending you love.
What a great quote Janna, thank you for sharing it in this conversation. I love your visual of putting things in water to receive - that feels sacred. Such a beautiful practice. I am going to sit with it this week. x