16 Comments

The self trust and patience needed to fully integrate your healing is so real. I remember in my therapy sessions at 23 coming into it with a high level understanding of what self compassion really meant. I told my therapist “this sounds like something I need but I’m not sure what that looks like for me”. I feel I’ve been integrating that one lesson for the past four years now and needed this reminder that timelines look different for everyone.

Expand full comment
author

Hello Lola, thank you for taking the time to connect here. I really appreciate what you shared about not being sure what self-compassion meant for you four years ago. I so relate to the slow integration of lessons that can years. And thank you for reflecting back that timelines look different for all of us. Deep exhale over here :)

Expand full comment

Yes yes yes. This post rings true for so many of us -- the rush. I recently wrote a post about something quite similar about constantly striving, which I'll be posting soon. When do we ever slow down and stop striving towards the next thing, the next level, being better at something even if that something is presence? It's always uphill, we so rarely give ourselves time to just be in peace. Do we even know what life looks like if we're not rushing? Thanks for this post Ashley!

Expand full comment
author

Yes, the rush Tamzin—that is it. I look forward to reading your new post about striving. I really appreciate the questions you are sitting with, they deeply resonate with me. I have been unpacking similar inquiries as well and I am grateful to connect around this thread that influences and impacts so much of my life. I know there are many more of us out there in this work too! Thank you and sending gratitude, Ashley

Expand full comment

Dear Ashley,

Thank you for sharing your experience. This resonates with me so very much. You are lucky that you have found a therapist who was able to support you through the process. It's not always easy to find the right person, someone you can rely on and who doesn't make you feel alone in the process. Sometimes it can be a real struggle, or maybe that is also a part of the whole healing experience...

Thank you, Elisa

Expand full comment
author

Hi Elisa,

Thank you for taking the time to read this piece and share your reflections. I completely agree with you and have sat with many therapists and practitioners who where not able to support me over the years and where I left sessions feeling more alone or more pathologized. I realized how lucky I am to have found my current therapist who I feel really sees me and supports me to learn about myself rather than tries to fix or diagnose. Thinking of you and appreciating your thoughts so much. Ashley

Expand full comment

Wow Ashley,

I see myself throughout your experience. The resistance to be willing to simply be, and the unwillingness to honour how far I've come simply to be closer to being "healed," whatever that means deeply within myself.

I deeply appreciate your words and I'm continuously inspired by you. Ekosani (Thank you in Ininimowin) for sharing your medicine with the world

Expand full comment
author

Hello Lee,

I just popped back in here and noticed my reply to you did not go through. I must have accidentally hit 'cancel'.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this piece and share here. Your reflection deeply resonates with me and your words "the resistance to being willing to simply be" have been a north star for me this week. There is so much collective fear and anxiety and rage right now and I am keenly aware of the parts of myself that want to get these feelings over with already and the deeper, steadier voice that is open to being present with all of them.

Thinking of you and sending warmth and gratitude to you.

Expand full comment

gorgeous xxx

Expand full comment
author

Thank you so much Emma. x

Expand full comment

I can relate to this piece so much about trying to heal quickly or rush... I feel really nurtured by this article and I’m practicing allowing myself rest ....without guilt! Much love to you Ashley and there is so much love in your writing

Expand full comment
author

Hi Karissa, it is so good to hear from you. I love that you are allowing yourself the space to rest without guilt. That is major! Sending you so much love, A

Expand full comment

That space to pause can be a beautiful time to love yourself a little bit more for taking that next step. Thank you for sharing Ashley. 🙏

Expand full comment
author

Beautifully said Louise. I will be weaving this in to my practice. Wishing you a nourishing week ahead. x

Expand full comment

Thank you so much for this beautiful words. I felt very connected to this desire to get to the next page. And I feel grateful for the reminder to sit in the moment I have now - in front of me.

Expand full comment
author

It is wonderful to connect with you Vasylysa. Thank you for taking the time to share here. I love the way you articulated your gratitude for the reminder to be in the moments in front of you. Keeping that with me this evening!

Expand full comment